like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
