i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I understand Curling. That high.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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