Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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