the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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