party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Alive.
So much puke
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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