girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize