So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
