her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
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She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
there is puke in my bra ... again
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