Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
