I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i think my cat just said my name.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
