I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Boobs speak an international language.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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