I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
