god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
