Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

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  (248): I fell asleep on the toilet again last night... http://tfl.nu/rzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (984)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.

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  (336): Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see. http://tfl.nu/n17o
  Replies (13) Good night (949) Bad night (2648)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

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  (989): News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus. (1-989): Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right. http://tfl.nu/jho0
  Replies (22) Good night (4711) Bad night (1082)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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  (970): 3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4. http://tfl.nu/2tep
  Replies (16) Good night (7622) Bad night (771)
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  (714): View more from California

  you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.

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  (714): you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before. http://tfl.nu/gj1j
  Replies (15) Good night (1032) Bad night (3459)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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  (727): he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jd33
  Replies (39) Good night (5653) Bad night (1078)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.

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  (614): she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer. http://tfl.nu/rq7c
  Replies (3) Good night (3749) Bad night (1085)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives

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  (215): I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives http://tfl.nu/ehnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2111) Bad night (965)
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  (626): View more from California

  I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...

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  (626): I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned... http://tfl.nu/wvxc
  Replies (7) Good night (1804) Bad night (778)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.

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  (770): You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point. http://tfl.nu/sxoa
  Replies (8) Good night (502) Bad night (1079)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.

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  (847): Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations. http://tfl.nu/g9dw
  Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (467)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.

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  (214): I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rah7
  Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (549)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.

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  (770): You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of. http://tfl.nu/9xxo
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (408)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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  (614): You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water http://tfl.nu/21tc
  Replies (1) Good night (1284) Bad night (395)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.

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  (406): You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10. http://tfl.nu/a2lw
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (207)

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