Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.