wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher