Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I will die if light touches me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
