So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize