I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
