you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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