i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
