your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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