There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
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