i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
