Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
