I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
