Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
