thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
