But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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