just tell him i said nine months
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
