herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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