Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize