he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
