U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
