She's JV to your varsity
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
