You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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