Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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