I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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