Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My balls are so social today.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize