So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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