Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
