Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
