Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
