never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
