Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
