I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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