If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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