I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
