And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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