I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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