Sponge bath it is.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
