My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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