I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
