can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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