a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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