bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
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He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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