Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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