thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
