laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
