I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
nutella sex= disaster
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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